I don't need you.

I've been hearing these four words a lot lately.

And today, during a nice long 12 mile run, I came to the startling realization that I don't like it.

Not one bit. You could tell by the tears and sobbing that happened in the middle of the Colby Lake trail, right around mile 7. That's sort of when it hit me.

That I'm in complete and utter denial.

Let's start at the beginning.

Last Wednesday, I went to dinner with some girlfriends. We all have kids around the same age and my friend Sarah was talking about how she is going to be that parent that cries the first day of kindergarten. She is dreading sending her first born to school.

I had a slightly different feeling (at the time). I was thinking- 'oh, this will save us some money, Jaxon is totally ready for it, it's so fun watching him grow up and learn and all the opportunities...'

Plus, I'm not around him all day like Sarah is with her daughter since she stays home so I sort of figured it wouldn't be any different than sending him to daycare every day, right?

Flash forward to mile 7. That's when I realized that everything is changing. So fast, before my eyes. And that there is a reason that the Back to School supply list has been sitting on my counter for a week without a trip to Target. I LOVE Target! And I LOVE school supplies! So, then. Why haven't I begun the annual 'back to school' tradition yet?

Oh yeah. Denial.

Let's get back to how things are changing.

 

 

This morning, Jaxon says "Mom, I'm just gonna hop in the shower quick.". And then he proceeded to take a shower, wash his hair, and get dressed all on his own. Then he combed his hair, blew it dry with Kiley's fake blow dryer for her dolls, and put his own gel in. From the bathroom I heard him say, "Mom, I messed up. I need to start over." I mean, really, it's Sunday- who are we trying to impress?

Lately he has been taking a shower in our bathroom while Kiley takes a bath on her own. He serves his own food and plays video games. I bought him some BeyBlades and you would think he was like the world expert on Beyblades. I mean, he is compared to me, but how does he even know this stuff?

Yesterday I took both kids to a movie, figuring I had nothing else to drop $17.00 on at the time and fully expecting Kiley to need to leave within the first twenty minutes. Jaxon kept telling her, "Kiley, you're doing so great. Now if you just keep it up, we can stay for the whole movie!" He's totally her big brother/mom/dad.

And just because Kiley is two years younger, doesn't mean she needs me any more than Jaxon does. In fact, she lets me know ALL the TIME that she does NOT need me and that I should just go away!

Go away mom, I'm coloring.
Go away mom, I'm going potty and I don't need you. I will wipe my butt really clean.
Go away mom, I can get my own water.
Go away mom, I'm playing.
Go away mom, stop looking at me.
Go away mom, I don't need you.

So, I'm not sure if it was a Justin Bieber song or Miley Sirus that struck during mile 7, but all of a sudden, I couldn't stop thinking about how quickly my babies are growing up! And that pretty soon, they are going to be even more independent and on their own. Moreso than they are now.

Of course, I know they still need me.
I know it when they ask for help opening their applesauce squeezers.
I know it when they need me to buckle their carseats.
I know it when they ask for a book at night and a cuddle/gobble/gickle/smithle/hug/kiss (oh yeah, we do all that before bed).
I know it when they can't quite get all the food items on the right conveyer belt when we play the Whole Foods app.
I know it when they need a hug or kiss on their owies (they can do the band-aids themselves though- go away!);
I know it when they feel sad and miss their friends or their family and need someone to listen
I know it when they crawl into bed in the middle of the night because they had a bad dream or they woke up and saw a weird looking shadow on the wall.

Of course they still need me! They'll need me forever!

I guess I'll just stay in my river of Denial a little while longer before picking up that list and heading over to Target... (then I'll really be in trouble!).

summer days

Summer days are the best. They make me feel like a kid again. And it's even more fun seeing summer through your children's eyes. How amazing life must be to them!

You know it is Summer at our house when...

...a waterfight could break out at any moment.

... fireworks come from a box in the garage instead of the store.

...ice cream and popsicles are a daily menu item.

...taking your clothes off in the driveway is just a normal occurrence.

...a trip to the pool is how we cool off after dinner.

... strawberries!

... and lots of sunscreen...

This summer, I really wanted to embrace the fact that I have a lot of excess vacation time (which I attribute to my kids blessed immunity to all illnesses known to children now that they've finally come of age and have had them all). And so I've decided to take my vacation on some random days when I can and enjoy making memories with the kids.

So far, so good.

(Oh, and just to be clear- it was Kiley that took her clothes off.)

A few weeks ago on a fairly nicish night, the kids seemed antsy to get in the sprinkler, so we made it happen. Of course, as soon as I got everything hooked up and sprinkler on, everyone just stared at it and tried to figure out how to get to the other side without getting wet. Which, if I'm not mistaken, is the point.

 Eventually, after playing with the sprinkler for a whole five minutes, we had to switch it out to a different one. Pretty typical.

 We liked this one much better apparently. That caterpillar is just too crazy!

 Of course, it didn't stay on the ground long.

A couple weekends ago, we had some of Kiley's (and Jaxon's) friends to the Lake Elmo Beach for a little birthday celebration...

 We flew a kite to let everyone know where we were at!

 

 While Jaxon and Scott were getting the kite going, Kiley was sitting with me at the picnic table. She saw bugs. Thus the scared face. Apparently we are going through a love-hate relationship with bugs. She seems to enjoy watching 'baby ants', but if it flies, it ain't cool.

 I mean, she's still cute though, right?

Then it was time for the beach! Auntie Jenny got there and took right over. She is the best!

 Party time would not be complete without cupcakes (and a pretend candle).

 And keeping with tradition, we went to pick strawberries last week at Pine Tree Apple Orchard. Last year I think we did about ten pounds. This year I was ambitious. We went for twenty.

 We had some good helpers. Though they enjoyed a few too many I think!

 Aren't they pretty?

They turned into 13 half-pints of strawberry jam, 10 half-pints of strawberry-rhubarb jam, and 4 loaves of strawberry bread, with two bags of frozen strawberries to spare. Anyone want some jam?

 

 

Just because:

And then it turned into a 90 degree, hot, sticky day. And we got the water out. And Kiley got naked. How could I not take photos?

We also could not forget about the 4th of July- Scott's favorite holiday besides Thanksgiving (because of the turkey and mashed potatoes).

 These guys were hilarious. They certainly know how to have fun together!

 

And to top it all off, we ended up at ValleyFair for a family fun night. I just love this picture of Kiley and I, going on the Snoopy Rocket RollerCoaster! She had so much fun, thanks to her daddy for teaching her to stand on her tippy toes when she got measured- just barely 36 inches and tall enough for most of the kids' rides!

Jaxon was beyond excited.

 

And that's our summer so far- and it's only July 8th! I can't wait to find out what other memories we will make this summer.