Never change who you are.

Never change who you are.

I think Scott and I, as we've grown older (and yes, wiser!), have certainly changed in many ways. As we moved from just dating, to being married and living together, to having kids, things change. We evolve. We realize what's important, who's important. We forget about the things and focus on the memories, the good times, the time together.

These are good changes.

When we started talking about having kids, I was a little fearful that we'd change who we were as a couple. That we'd somehow stop everything, hole up in our house and change diapers for the rest of our lives. At the present moment, that doesn't seem far from reality actually...

Not too long ago I was hoping we could just drop everything and go on a quick weekend vacation like we used to do. Where would it be this time? Jamaica? London? Paris? Why not, we'd used to say?

We still say why not. Call us crazy (most did). We decided to say why not with a toddler and newborn. But this time, even though we went out of the country, we stayed a little closer to home. Cedar Lake, Ontario! It was a nice reminder to me of who we are as a couple and now as a family. Living spontaneously and soaking in life as much as we can is who we are. My hope is that we'll never change who we are.

Here's a snippet of our spontaneous vacation and some favorite photos from the trip:

July 2009- booked our trip to Cedar Lake

Late Summer 2009- found out I was due in July 2010

January 2010- Cancelled trip to Cedar Lake thinking it was too close to due date. Bummed.

June 23- Kiley Joyce was born! June 24- Kiley is such a good baby, let's take her to Cedar Lake

June 25- E-mailed and booked trip to Cedar Lake

July 16- What were we thinking??

Car ride there:

2:30 pm Left Maple Grove

2:30-3:00, Kiley cried all the way to our first stop at

3:02 pm: stopped the car, made a bottle. Kiley stopped crying as soon as we stopped the car.

3:30 pm. Second stop- Jaxon says, 'My butt hurts. I went poo poo. I need medicine for my butt'

6 ish- stop at Arby's in Virginia for dinner.

6:48- On the road again

7:02pm- Jaxon says, 'Mommy, why you don't buckle me?' Scott looks at Brenna. (Holy Sh*t). Brenna looks at Scott (F*Dge!). Pull over. Buckle Jaxon.

7:24 pm- Jaxon learns a new word. 'Sh*t. Sh*t. Why you say that?'

The week got significantly better from there. Here are some of our favorite snapshots ;-)

Scott, bless him, took Jaxon fishing almost every day. Jaxon loved it. He got to go on boat rides, hang out with his daddy, and net some big fishies while mommy got to stay back with Kiley and grandma and make jewelry!

Later he sorted through all the minnows and threw out the dead ones. And some that were not dead. We went through a lot of bait this week.

Half-way through the week, grandma suggested Jaxon 'wash dishes' in the sink as an activity. This kept him busy for a good hour. It's now become a staple 'activity' at home when mommy needs to make phone calls and get some stuff done. Thanks grandma!

Kiley, checkin' things out.

Kiley, saying hello to the world! She was smiling and trying to coo. She did not smile or coo so much at 3:30 in the morning...

Jaxon hanging out with mom at the shore lunch.

Daddy and Jaxon, saying "Gobby Gobby!! on the boat ride". Gobby Gobby was Jaxon's new friend (?). We're not really sure. He just kept saying it all week. If anyone knows who Gobby Gobby is, please clue us in.

Checking out the smores for the first time.Turns out he is not a big fan and would rather eat chocolate straight up. He so takes after his mother...

The night after the campfire. I about died laughing as he peeked up over his pack in play.

While we had our ups and downs on this trip, and it we all went slightly wonky at various times, we wouldn't take it back for the world. It was so fun to be together as a family and with great friends and family there too- I didn't even have room to share all the photos. We can't wait for next year!

thank you and i'm sorry.

To all those who have told me, and keep telling me, that 'it will get easier', Thank You and I'm Sorry.

Thank you. Thank you for reminding me that yes, it does get better. It gets easier. It's like anything else in life. You adjust, reinvent yourself, rethink your expectations. And it does get easier. Yes, the reminder is good, even if it makes me curse you out everytime you say 'it will get easier' as I'm on the verge of losing it, in the midst of two babies crying, two diapers needing to be changed (one for real and one pretend), and two babies needing my constant attention. So, for the cursing, I am sorry. But for the reminder, thank you.

Today it got a little easier. I have adjusted a little more, reinvented myself as a mom of two, and have definately rethunk my expectations.

As we were sitting at McDonalds after a great morning at the Children's Museum in St. Paul, I quickly scarfed my cheeseburger while preparing a bottle and making sure Jaxon had his straw and napkins, I thought, gosh this feels much easier than last week when I attempted Smashburger. Must be getting easier.

Then I saw a woman with four kids in tow, two of them desperately fighting over seats in the double stroller (apparently they don't make bunk double strollers). I thought, man is she brave. Brave or really needed to get out of the house. And I also thought, if she can do it with four, surely I can do it with two!

Yes, it has been a good day. And even moreso, I was recently reminded by a good friend to always hold on to the precious moments as we are living them- chaotic, peaceful, or otherwise.

Coincidentally, as I took Kiley out of her sleeping cave (the carseat) to feed her, a woman walked by and commented... 'She's so small... I remember that.'

And it just reminded me to cherish this time I have, not take it for granted, and trust that it will get easier, more normal, and more wonderful with each day.

No more cursing. I promise.

favorite friends

Last week was my first full week at home alone with Jaxon and Kiley, well, minus Monday, so I guess this week will be the first full week. Regardless, it felt like a full week!

We had some ups and downs as we all adjust to life with another person in the house. It's been particularly difficult for Jaxon who now has to share the attention of a baby and doesn't have any of his friends around to play with since he's stuck with me for the summer.

I had such great visions of taking the kids to the zoo, going to the park, eating ice cream or going on playdates with friends. But then reality set in. And it takes forever to get anyone ready in the morning. Even now, I am taking precious time away from drying my hair to write this blog.

But, late last week I think Jaxon and I had a breakthrough. We made a car ramp out of a beer box and played for nearly an hour together just racing cars. He thought it was high times. I thought I was just another lame mom trying to be creative.

And just yesterday, Jaxon took my hand after we got back from the park and said 'Mommy, you're my favorite friend'. Those moments are all worth it.

I seriously give so much credit to all the daycare providers, nannies, and stay at home moms out there-- not sure how you do it, day in and day out. I've done it for a week and am exhausted at the thought that it is Monday! Here's to another week though, of special moments, wherever we might find them.

Kiley's first photo shoot

Yesterday Kiley had her first photo shoot- I'm guessing there will be many more ;-) Jaxon was in a good mood too and was able to help capture some fun moments. Historically he has been rather stoic in our photo sessions, so it was a pleasant surprise to get a few of him smiling and goofing around! Now we'll have to work on miss Kiley to wake up next time for a few pictures! Oh well, she's still cute even if she is sleeping all the time (which I am NOT complaining about!) Here's a link to our photo gallery from our talented friend Krysten who got these done in record time! I think these are up for a couple weeks. They're pretty cute kids if I do say so myself. Enjoy! http://www.krystenhalek.com/darkroom/share/?n=kiley#04jpg ~B